Superhero Crab Racing- Folkie's 3/24

Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito-
A plethora of Crabs tonite. We raced 58 (a world record), so we added an extra set of four Tough Preliminary Heats.

Superhero Crab Racing

PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Charles Bronson
2) Bogota
3) Paris
4) Dopey
5) Waterford

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Trish

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #9 I Thought I Had A Case Of The Crabs, But I Only Counted Twenty-Three- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #64 Fireball- The Wolf Pack (WP)
3) Winner- #0 Crabby Crabtastic- I Seriously Hope We Don't Catch The Crabs (ISH)
4) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
5) Winner- #63 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- COF
6) Winner- #99 Lightning Loser- Team Sapulpa (TSP)
7) Winner- #60 Shooter's Gal- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)
8) Winner- #74 I Don't Give A Fuq- TSP

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #44 Slippery Sailor- Crabby Legs Racing (CLR)

Halftime Entries:
Nope. Unnatural Sellout

10) Winner- #8 Mobile Porn Unit- No Kids At Home Tonite Racing Team (NKA)
11) Winner- #84 She's A Cum Dumpster- Michigan 69ers (M69)

The Wave

12) Winner- #89 Shades McGibbon- Dumber Than A Bag O' Dicks Racing (DBO)
13) Winner- #14 Tink- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
14) Winner- #13 Lawman's Lady #2- FSR
15) Winner- #40 Gilligan- WP
16) Winner- #41 Don't Trust A Ho, Cuz THE HO DON'T TRUST YOU!!!- SRL
17) Winner- #46 Pimp Daddy- FSR
18) Winner- #75 Old Strippers Don't Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- COF
19) Winner- #24 Pimp Daddy #2- FSR
20) Winner- #27 Crabzilla- ISH

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #46 Pimp Daddy- Facial Shot Racing
2) Winner- #64 Fireball- The Wolf Pack
3) Winner- #60 Shooter's Gal- Facial Shot Racing
4) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab

Outstanding Individuals:
Your Lovely Host- Steve Schrader
Behind The Bar- Ricky Four Inch
In The Kitchen- Thursday Night Shane
On The Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Rhonda

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #60 Shooter's Gal- Facial Shot Racing
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- Super Folkie, The House Crab
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (the next best thing to free)- #46 Pimp Daddy- Facial Shot Racing
First Place- $80 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (ditto)- #64 Fireball- The Wolf Pack

Time:
Plus Eight

Ciao for nao
j

Beers Of The World- Three Kings 3/5

Beers Of The World Crab Racing

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Trixie
2) Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head
3) Orange
4) Peter Pan
5) 1500 Meters

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Sherry (From Canada)

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #77 You Get Ate More- Rosetta

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #55 Milkawhat?- Sunita
3) Winner- #72 What Happens In The Aquarium, Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)
4) Winner- #84 Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger- Ronda
5) Winner- #0 Prostate Humor- Philip
6) Winner- #27 I Gave Up Masturbation For Lent. Dumb Dumb Dumb- Doug
7) Winner- SC Can I Have Your Number? It's Okay Because I'm Super Gay- Shane
8) Winner- #60 Gretchen Goodentite- Maggie

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #38 Greg's Nightmare- Travis

Halftime Entries:
Nope

10) Winner- #26 Foxy Crabby- Meghan
11) Winner- #8 Billy Bob Thornton- Greg

The Wave

12) Winner- #46 Jeffy Baby- Lori
13) Winner- #14 Shithead- Leo
14) Winner- #48G Fat Bastard- Chrissy
15) Winner- #44 Bridgette- Linda
16) Winner- #81 Vaginal Fart- Sherri

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #38 Greg's Nightmare- Travis
2) Winner- #55 Milkawhat?- Sunita
3) Winner- #72 What Happens In The Aquarium, Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
4) Winner- #84 Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger- Ronda

Outstanding Individuals:
On the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Jill-Bob
Your Host as well as holding down the Bar- Dave

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done plus a copy of the full length feature film- "The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie's"- #72 What Happens In The Aquarium, Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #38 Greg's Nightmare- Travis
Second Place- $15 in Three Kings Kash (The next best thing to free)- #84 Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger- Ronda
First Place- $25 in Three Kings Kash (Ditto)- #55 Milkawhat?- Sunita

Time:
Plus Seven

Spring Break

Howdy Kids!

Sonny has headed for the coast in search of new Crab Racing talent and Crab Racing's Executive Board is in Key West for their annual Spring Meetings. We raced in Hoagland on Friday the 5th and I'll be getting those results up shortly ( I do everything shortly!). There was a glimmer of improvement in the Hoagburgh Crew's Crab Calling, so I thought I'd repost this for their benefit-

We'll return to the Friendly Confines on March the 24th with a bunch of new Crabs. Have a great St Patrick's Day and until then, he's still Sonny Starr. See you soon!

djjj

Crab Racing USA- Folkie's 3/3

Hoy Hoy!!
Greeting from Casa dos Gatos! Gonna get this one up fast for the benefit of all the Crabheads© that will be in attendance Friday night in Hoagburgh.

Giganamous crowd at the Folkiedome this evening for the first week of the new format. If you haven't heard, in an attempt to make the friendly (but tight) confines more maneuverable for the staff and to allow the patrons to get their food and drink orders more easily, we've gone to a random draw for Crab Choosing®. It went very well and the defending champs even managed a podium. I think there may be a tweak or two before the next races on the 24th, but overall I think it was a winner.

That's enough chit-chat, let's get right to the results-



Crab Racing USA-

PreRace:
Some of this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Raindrops Keep falling On My Head
2) Orange
3) Peter Pan
4) Hawaii
5) John Wayne

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Terri

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #55 Find 'Em, Feel 'Em, Fuq 'Em, and Forget 'Em- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #72 Fireball- The Wolf Pack (WP)
3) Winner- #77 Itchy And Scratchy- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
4) Winner- #26 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- COF
5) Winner- #35 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- COF
6) Winner- Super Folkie- Facial Shot Racing (FSR) via Halftime Charity Raffle
7) Winner- #14 Out Of Thousands Of Sperms, Yours Was The Fastest- We May Not Finish But At Least We Came Racing (RPR)
8) Winner- #48Gold- Old Strippers Don't Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- COF

Halftime:
Some of this

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #44 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- Dumber Than A Bag Of Dicks Racing (DBD)

Halftime Entries:
#84 and Super Folkie in a Halftime Raffle

10) Winner- #60 Lick 'Em Quick- Sand Fleas Racing (SFR)
11) Winner- #84 Shit For Brains- Blue Crabs Racing (BCR) via Halftime Charity Raffle

The Wave

12) Winner- #0 Crab Ass- Michigan Crabbys (MCR)
13) Winner- #3 I Didn't Have The Crabs Until My Wife Cheated On Me- RPR
14) Winner- #46 Kurt Cobain's Favorite Shotgun- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
15) Winner- #48Orange Oh Really? Well Put It Back In So I Can Finish- FSR
16) Winner- #1 Numb Nuts- BCR

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #3 I Didn't Have The Crabs Until My Wife Cheated On Me- We May Not Finish But At Least We Came Racing
2) Winner- #72 Fireball- The Wolf Pack
3) Winner- #84 Shit For Brains- Blue Crabs Racing
4) Winner- #26 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Crabby Old Pharts

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- A Hearty Wave And A Well Done- #72 Fireball- The Wolf Pack
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt - #3 I Didn't Have The Crabs Until My Wife Cheated On Me- We May Not Finish But At Least We Came Racing
Second Place- $20 in Folkie's Krab Kash (the next best thing to free)- #26 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Crabby Old Pharts
First Place- $30 in Folkie's Krab Kash (ditto)- #84 Shit For Brains- Blue Crabs Racing


Time:
Plus Three

We held out Super Crab and #84 for a halftime raffle to raise money for a family who's having a tough go and lo and behold, #84 takes it all. Imagine that. You may see the Number One Crab held out in the future for more charity raffles. We'll have to see.

The Crabs will be back in THREE weeks on March 24th. Until then, his name's Sonny Starr!

ciao for nao
djjj