Beers Of The World- Folkie's 1/20

Hoy Hoy-
Last minute post, this is. But you know what they say in South Marion- "Show me a girl...", no, that's something else entirely. Anyway here's what happened on the 20th, for what it's worth!-

Beers of the World Crab Racing

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Thailand
2) Dashielle Hammett
3) Orca
4) KAOS
5) Heidi Doody

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Don't recall

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #10 Sparta- Crabby Cupcake Lovers (CCL)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #55 Cleveland Steamer- GPB Racing (GPB)
3) Winner- #53 Bill "Mountain Farmer" Murray- The Bills
4) Winner- #34 Super Shooter- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)
5) Winner- #77 Number Seventy-Seven- John
6) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab- More about him later
7) Winner- #51 Lawman's Lady- FSR
8) Winner- #42 Herpes The Crab- GPB

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #58 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- Doctor Hugs Incorporated (DHI)

Halftime Entries:
Wouldn't be Natural

10) Winner- #92 Pimp Daddy- FSR
11) Winner- #46 Abe Froman, Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)

The Wave

12) Winner- #76 Krabbe- Eric
13) Winner- #93 Bill Brasky. To Bill!!- The Bills
14) Winner- #3 Out Of Thousands Of Sperms, Yours Is The Fastest- CCL
15) Winner- #74 These Crabs Look Familiar. Do You Know Matt Hughes?- DHI
16) Winner- #12 Lookin' Like A Fool With Your Pants On The Ground- Crustacean Sensations (CS)

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #10 Sparta- Crabby Cupcake Lovers
2) Winner- #55 Cleveland Steamer- GPB Racing
3) Winner- #51 Lawman's Lady- Facial Shot Racing
4) Winner- #76 Krabbe- Eric

Outstanding Individuals:
Behind The Bar- Rick
In The Kitchen- Shane
On The Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Rhonda

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #10 Sparta- Crabby Cupcake Lovers
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #55 Cleveland Steamer- GPB Racing
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Bucks (the next best thing to free)- #76 Krabbe- Eric
First Place- $30 in Folkie’s Bucks (ditto)- #51 Lawman's Lady- Facial Shot Racing

Time:
Plus Two

Ciao for nao
j

Football Crab Racing- Three Kings 1-8

Football Crab Racing-

PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Boston Bruins
2) London
3) Miss Scarlett
4) Orville Somebody
5) Pocahontas

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Suenita

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #58 I'm Going To Have To Numb That. Num Num Num Num Num- Pleasant Valley Pheasant Pluckers

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #80 Kester- Nick
3) Winner- #7 Pretty Kitty- Suenita
4) Winner- #77 Dallas Clark Gave My Tight End The Crabs- Regina
5) Winner- #51 Jeffy Baby- Lori
6) Winner- #4 Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger- Rhonda
7) Winner- SC Super Big Bald Slut- Carolyn
8) Winner- #96 Speedy Gonzales- Sally

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #87 Scratch And Sniff- Rosetta

Halftime Entries:
Nah

10) Winner- #76 America- Danielle
11) Winner- #90 Ribbed For Her Pleasure- Carolyn

The Wave

12) Winner- #99 Kilo- Tammy
13) Winner- #25 Jackie Crabhorn- Jake
14) Winner- #24 Tough Shit- Paul
15) Winner- #65 Slap Me 'Til I'm Satisfied- Bill
16) Winner- #?? Titty Titty Bang Bang- Rick

Goodbye Losers:

Disco Semifinals:
1) Winner- #87 Scratch And Sniff- Rosetta
2) Winner- #4 Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger- Rhonda
3) Winner- #65 Slap Me 'Til I'm Satisfied- Bill
4) Winner- #96 Speedy Gonzales- Sally

Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #96 Speedy Gonzales- Sally
Third Place- $10 in Three Kings Kash (The Next Best Thing To Free)- #65 Slap Me 'Til I'm Satisfied- Bill
Second Place- $15 in Three Kings Kash (Ditto)- #4 Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger- Rhonda
First Place- $25 in Three Kings Kash (Ditto Once More)- #87 Scratch And Sniff- Rosetta

Time:
Plus Five


Ciao for nao
j

Hey Hoagland Join the DJ's Team

Hey Hoagland,
Weather permitting, we'll be up there tomorrow night and if we are, I'd like to take this opportunity to invite all of you to race for my new team, The Pleasant Valley Pheasant Pluckers.

We've got the Football Board, so think of your best football related crab name and don't forget to tell Sonny- "I want to be a Pleasant Valley Pheasant Plucker"!

See you there.

-djjj

Football Crab Racing- Folkie's 1/6

Chimichanga Cheeseyburrito!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. Sorry you had to run last night. As Steve Schrader said "it's the perfect Folkie's crowd. The hall is pretty well filled and no one has to stand."

Of course the first night of the season means we had awards to hand out. Not only did we honor last year's champion, Facial Shot Racing, with a plaque, we also handed out plaques and movies to 2009's (that's twenty o nine) top three teams. There's also a permanent plaque recognizing each year's champions on the south wall. Quite festive indeed.

The start of the new year appears to be what one might call the beginning of the "silly season" with several teams (including the most recent champions) disbanding and reforming under new banners. We're joined by a new team, Detroit Hardware Racing (no previous affiliation), and while Sapphire Racing is still with us, as well as the Crustacean Sensations and Facial Shot Racing, gone are the Screamin' Seamen, The Crabby Old Pharts, and Team Hinkey. The alliance of SS and COF has now become The Purple People Pukers, and Team Hinkey has split, with the adorable Tallywhacker Toucher and KMC forming the Crabby Cupcake Lovers and the equally adorable "man with the fastest spreading crabs" founding the Doctor Hugs Inc racing team. League rule six states that teams are probationary until they run three consecutive races and as we said in a previous post, the Crabby Old Pharts didn't score their first points until March, so there's plenty of time to return to their old names before the racing gets intense.

The lovely Steve Schrader is your host. Ricky the four inch wonder is behind the bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the kitchen and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! The NFL regular season is over, wild card weekend is upon us, so I've got just one question. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME-

Football Crab Racing-

PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Boston Bruins
2) London
3) Miss Scarlet
4) Orville Wright
5) Pocahontas

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Stefanie

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #77 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Purple People Pukers (PPP)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #78 She Could Only Blow The Tip- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)
3) Winner- #58 Carl The Carpet Muncher- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
4) Winner- #9B John Doe- PPP
5) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
6) Winner- #51 Git R Done- SRL
7) Winner- #4 Don't Trust A Ho, CAUSE THE HO DON'T TRUST YOU!!!- SRL
8) Winner- #39 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- PPP

Halftime:
Some of this. Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #76 I Can't Believe It's That Long- FSR

Halftime Entries:
Sold out baby

10) Winner- #80 Willow Branch- SRL
11) Winner- #87 Corpse Grinder- Crustacean Sensations (CS)

The Wave

12) Winner- #96 Bone Saw- CS
13) Winner- #99 Jumpin' Jack Flash- SRL
14) Winner- #31 Dead Girls Don't Say No- CS
15) Winner- #25 My Underwear Has Convenience Openings- PPP
16) Winner- #7 She Said Fuq Me Silly So I Put On A Clown Suit- PPP

Goodbye Losers:

Disco Semifinals:
1) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
2) Winner- #51 Git R Done- Sapphire Racing League
3) Winner- #4 Don't Trust A Ho, CAUSE THE HO DON'T TRUST YOU!!!- Sapphire Racing League
4) Winner- #96 Bone Saw- Crustacean Sensations

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #51 Git R Done- Sapphire Racing League
Third Place- T-Shirt- #4 Don't Trust A Ho, CAUSE THE HO DON'T TRUST YOU!!!- Sapphire Racing League
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Bucks (The Next Best Thing To Free)- #96 Bone Saw- Crustacean Sensations
First Place- $30 in Folkie’s Bucks (Ditto)- Super Folkie, The House Crab

Time:
Plus Ten

Super Folkie leads a cold pack of Crabs to a dismal Plus Ten. The Sensations grab the Second Place points and give them self a quick four to three lead over SRL who take Third and Fourth.

Super Folkie will bring the First Place money back on the twentieth, when the winner will take home 60 bucks. Pick ‘em at seven thirty, race ‘em at eight. Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.

Ciao for nao
j