Beers Of The World Crab Racing- Folkie's 11/25

Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito-
Here's a quick wrap up. I'll Try to fill it in later.

Beers of the World Crab Racing

PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Return To Peyton Place
2) James Bond
3) Kennesaw Mountain Landis
4) Ronald Reagan
5) Ten Dollars

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Lisa

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #17 Crab With No Name- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #87 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey (TH)
3) Winner- SC Super Crab (Raffled to the Crabby Old Pharts for United Way)
4) Winner- #01 Easy Goer- TH
5) Winner- #55 Hot Carl- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
6) Winner- #68 Panty Hoppin' Princess- TH
7) Winner- #69 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Screamin' Seamen (SS)
8) Winner- #77 Red-Headed Slut- Deloused Racing Team (DRT)

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #31 Sparta- TH

Halftime Entries:
Nope. Natural Sellout

10) Winner- #96 Licking Larry- TH
11) Winner- #9 My Underwear Has Convenience Openings- SS

The Wave

12) Winner- #26 Prison Bitch- CS
13) Winner- #41 Bone Saw- CS
14) Winner- #64 John Doe- COF
15) Winner- #80 Red Snapper- DRT
16) Winner- #71 Old Strippers Don't Retire. They Just Get The Crabs- SS

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #17 Crab With No Name- Crabby Old Pharts
2) Winner- #87 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey
3) Winner- #80 Red Snapper- Deloused Racing Team
4) Winner- #26 Prison Bitch- Crustacean Sensations

Outstanding Individuals:
Your Lovely Host- Steve Schrader
Behind The Bar- Ricky Four Inch
In The Kitchen- Thursday Night Shane
On The Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Rhonda

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #17 Crab With No Name- Crabby Old Pharts
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #26 Prison Bitch- Crustacean Sensations
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (the next best thing to free)- #80 Red Snapper- Deloused Racing Team

First Place- $30 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (ditto)- #87 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey

Time:
Minus Three

Ciao for nao
j

Crab Racing USA- Folkie's 11/11

Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. What a crappy week to be on vacation! Luckily, I've a waterbed and no ambition, so it's a perfect week for lot's of naps. The Attorney General says that people of my age should nap at least thrice a day, and I'm above the average this week!

Huuuugggge crowd this week at the Folkiedome. Rumor has it they started lining up around 6:00 PM. These people are serious about their Crabs. Four of the Top Five Teams are in attendance along with the M69ers from Grand Rapids. Steve Schrader is your lovely host, Ricky the Four Inch Wonder® is behind the bar, Thursday Night Shane is in the kitchen, and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!!!


Crab Racing USA-

PreRace:
Some of this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Arizona
2) Nevada
3) Hudson
4) Gulf Of California
5) Minnesota

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Stacy

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #17 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #71 Bill Brasky- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
3) Winner- #35 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)
4) Winner- #67 Crabs Sold Out. Syphilis Half Price- Team Hinkey (TH)
5) Winner- #98 Itchy Bitchy- TH
6) Winner- #6 John Doe- COF
7) Winner- #16 Don't Trust A Ho, 'Cuz The Ho DON'T TRUST YOU!!!- SRL
8) Winner- #64 Megatron- CS

Halftime:
Some of this

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab

Halftime Entries:
Not Tonite Darlin'

10) Winner- #55 Tulips On Your Organ- Rochelle
11) Winner- #34 Classic Rock My Ass- Steve

The Wave

12) Winner- #4 Hey, That's Thomas- SRL
13) Winner- #28 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- TH
14) Winner- #59 Old Guys Get The Crabs Too- Judy
15) Winner- #84 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Screamin' Seamen (SS)
16) Winner- #5 Longshot- Jamie

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #98 Itchy Bitchy- Team Hinkey
2) Winner- #71 Bill Brasky- Crustacean Sensations
3) Winner- #35 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts
4) Winner- #64 Megatron- Crustacean Sensations

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- A Hearty Wave And A Well Done- #98 Itchy Bitchy- Team Hinkey
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt - #71 Bill Brasky- Crustacean Sensations
Second Place- $20 in Folkie's Krab Kash (the next best thing to free)- #35 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts
First Place- $30 in Folkie's Krab Kash (ditto)- #64 Megatron- Crustacean Sensations


Time:
Plus One

The Sensational Crustaceans grab eight points to move into fourth place in the League Standings and the Crabby Young Pharts grab four points to climb to within two points of the slumping First Place Sapphire Racing League. The Crabs turn in an efficient Plus One in a show that included quite a bit of shtick in the Second Half.

The Crabs come back on Thanksgiving Eve, November 25th, and I bet there'll be another great crowd. Check the rankings and get there early to get the best Crabs. See you then!!!

ciao for nao
djjj

Friends Of Folkie's Tavern on Facebook

Hey Kids-
I found a group on Facebook that I'm going to try to get going as a place to find out what's happening at "Marion's favorite neighborhood bar". Join Friends Of Folkie's Tavern and hopefully we'll be able to keep you posted on what's going on in Folkieworld.

-djjj

San Antonio Rock & Roll Marathon

Hey Kids-
Here the link to the San Antonio Rock & Roll Marathon that Sonny is running in tomorrow. His bib number is 19066. The tracking feature is on the right and will set you back a couple of bucks. If you want to track him, enter Sonny Strack for the competitor's name and he'll come right up. See you in a couple of weeks.

djjj

Beers Of The World- Sapphire Room (Pete's Birthday) 11/7

Here are the basics. More to come later.

Beers Of The World Crab Racing

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Brook

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #17 Caligula- Pete

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #16 Flamingo- Audra
3) Winner- #44 I'm Wearing Edible Underwear- Mandy
4) Winner- #26 I Got This Crab Out Of Chuck's Pants- Allen
5) Winner- #6 John Doe- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)
6) Winner- #74 Pandango- Marcy
7) Winner- #16 Brett Favray- Sandy
8) Winner- #58 The Shocker- Jeremy

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #99 Fuq Her. No, You Fuq Her, You Brought Her- Dave

Halftime Entries:
Nope. Sold Out.

10) Winner- #84 Forty Two- John
11) Winner- #35 Dangerous Dave- Sharon

The Wave

12) Winner- #87 Orgasmic Olivia- Lynn
13) Winner- #7 Tiger- Brooke
14) Winner- #01 Double Penetration- Dawn
15) Winner- #55 Drew Firmdriver- Adam
16) Winner- #64 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- COF

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #17 Caligula- Pete
2) Winner- #16 Flamingo- Audra
3) Winner- #35 Dangerous Dave- Sharon
4) Winner- #64 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts

Outstanding Individuals:
Everyone was outstanding!

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #16 Flamingo- Audra
Third Place- $10- #64 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts
Second Place- $25- #17 Caligula- Pete
First Place- $40- $35 Dangerous Dave- Sharon

Time:
No time like the present

ciao for nao
djjj

Beers Of The World- Three Kings 11/7

Here are the basics. More to come later.

Beers Of The World Crab Racing

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Dodge City
2) Midnight Cowboy
3) Pan
4) Palm Tree
5) Dragnet

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Meghan

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #17 Stinky- Rosetta

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- Super Crab- Go IU, Purdue Sux- Kelly
3) Winner- #58 Lightning McQueen- Bill
4) Winner- #99 Wet noodle- Bill
5) Winner- #35 Bobby- Brandon
6) Winner- #46 Jeffy Baby- Lori
7) Winner- #16 Brett Favray- Sandy
8) Winner- #8 Betty- Alita

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #01 Butterfly- Tonya

Halftime Entries:
Nope. Sold Out.

10) Winner- #6 Ninja Crab- Sara
11) Winner- #67 Buster- Kaleigh

The Wave

12) Winner- #74 I Don't Give A Rat's Ass- Meghan
13) Winner- #4 Willie Makeit- Glenn
14) Winner- #64 Speedy Gonzales- Sally
15) Winner- #26 Babe- Brad
16) Winner- #87 Wheels McGee- Lindsey

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #01 Butterfly- Tonya
2) Winner- #6 Ninja Crab- Sara
3) Winner- #67 Buster- Kaleigh
4) Winner- #8 Betty- Alita

Outstanding Individuals:
On the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Jill-Bob
Your Host as well as holding down the Bar- Dave

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #67 Buster- Kaleigh
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #01 Butterfly- Tonya
Second Place- $10 in Three Kings Kash (The next best thing to free)- #6 Ninja Crab- Sara
First Place- $15 in Three Kings Kash (Ditto)- #8 Betty- Alita

Time:
Minus Four

ciao for nao
djjj

Crab Fever at the Three Kings!!!

Hey Gang-
Sonny and his Amazing Racing Crabs return to Hoagland tomorrow night for Beers Of The World Crab Racing. We'll be celebrating our Second Anniversary at the Three Kings, and will have a special Second Anniversary Edition of the Classic Crab Racing action flick- "The Night The Light's Went Out At Folkie's" for the winner of Race Eight!

Check the standings and recent results to find out who's fast and who's last and get there early to get the best crab. We pick 'em at 7:30 and race 'em at 8:00. See you there!!!

dj jumpin' j

Baseball Crab Racing- Folkie's 10/28

Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito-
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! Moved the first run of Chardonnay to secondary fermentation last night, so far so good. If everything goes as planned , we should see the first bottles from the new CdG winery sometime after the first of the year. I'll make sure you're on the list for the premier.

Another incredible crowd tonite in the Friendly Confines. I arrived a little late, and they're lined up halfway down the bar. The Top Five teams are represented, although the Crabby Old Pharts pull an NHL move with the 5th Place Crustacean Sensations and pick up a couple of players for the stretch drive. The Sapphires have a good size crowd as well as the Hinkeys, who bring their biggest team to date in an effort to capture this year's Crab Racing Crown. The Michigan 69ers are back as well, completing their third race, although their Probationary Status was lifted last race on the strength of their showing.

Young T Jones is back from West LA and is a part of the aforementioned COF/CS merger. Speaking of West Lafayette, if you enjoy the crowd participation and verbal abuse of Crab Racing, and you find yourself over there on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night, find the Neon Cactus and catch The Piano Man, Bruce Barker. You won't be disappointed. One word of advice though, keep your cell phone off and your head low or else you'll end up standing on your chair and singing a Journey song in front of three hundred people.

We're adding a new thing through the end of the year. During the First Half you'll be able to buy chances to win Super Crab in a drawing at Halftime. All the proceeds go to charity, but you'll get to keep any money The Super One wins. This week's charity is Breast Cancer Awareness.

Steve Schrader is your lovely Host. Ricky the Four Inch Wonder© is Behind the Bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! Once again you can tell by the crack of the bat and the smell of the balls, it's time for-

Baseball Crab Racing-

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Midnight Cowboy
2) Dragnet
3) Pan
4) Palm Tree
5) Dodge City

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- I forgot to write her name down, but she probably doesn't give a fuq anyway

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #16 Jerk Off Jeff- Team Hinkey (TH)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #17 Don't Trust The Ho 'Cuz THE HO DON'T TRUST YOU!!!- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
3) Winner- #8 Sebastian- TH
4) Winner- #6 John Doe- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)
5) Winner- #35 Bone Saw- COF
6) Winner- #75 Caligula- SRL

Seventh Inning Stretch

7) Winner- Super Folkie- TH
8) Winner- #87 Tazzie- TH

Halftime:
Some of this as well as this

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #55 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- SRL

Halftime Entries:
Nope

10) Winner- #58 Tulips On Your Organ- Rochelle
11) Winner- #64 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- COF

The Wave

12) Winner- #46 Tallywhacker Toucher- TH
13) Winner- #84 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Screamin' Seamen (SS)
14) Winner- #90 Icky Wicky- TH
15) Winner- #22 Fuq Sobriety- Chris
16) Winner- #26 Camel Toe Sheila- Lana

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #55 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
2) Winner- #75 Caligula- Sapphire Racing League
3) Winner- #64 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts
4) Winner- #6 John Doe- Crabby Old Pharts

Some Outstanding Individuals-
Ricky Four Inch- Behind the Bar
Thursday Night Shane- In the Kitchen
Steve Schrader- Your Crab Racing Host
And on the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!! Rhonda.

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #55 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
Third Place- A Top Quality Tee Shirt- #75 Caligula- Sapphire Racing League Second Place- $20 Worth of Folkie’s Krab Kash (“The next best thing to free”)- #6 John Doe- Crabby Old Pharts
First Place- $30 Worth of Folkie’s Krab Kash (“Ditto”)- #64 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts

Time:
Minus Two

So there you have it. The Crabby Young Pharts grab First and Second to pull to within six points of the League leading SRL with four races to go. That's as close as anyone's been since April, this is getting good. Team Hinkey didn't score any points for finishing in the Finals, but if we awarded points for looking good, they'd have had a sweep. We'll take up beauty points at this year's Winter Meetings in Key West.

The Crabs return to Folkie's on November the 11th. Here's one more from the Piano Man and until then, he's Sonny Starr!

ciao for nao
djjj

Bruce Barker, The Piano Man

Big K took us to a piano bar in West LA a couple of years back to see this guy and I recommend him highly