Beers Of The World Crab Racing- Folkie's 10/14

Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! I was two thirds of the way into a very polite bottle of White Zinfandel when I realized that I had yet to enlighten my half dozen readers with the results from the most recent round of Crab Racing at Folkie's. I apologize and will set forth to immediately rectify this terrible error.

Huge crowd tonite in The Friendly Confines. They start lining up shortly after seven o'clock, trying to get the best Crab and a shot at that $90 First Prize. (This is actually the lead-in from Beers Of The World Crab Racing in August, and apart from the fact that we're running for $80 rather than $90, it works perfectly). Our friends from Grand Rapids, the Michigan Sixty-Niners, have returned and they've multiplied mightily, bringing a mob reminiscent of Facial Shot Racing or the Goondock Saints on their best days. Welcome, we're happy to have you. Joining M69 tonite are the top four teams in the League Standings, Sapphire Racing League, Team Hinkey (short one TT, but bolstered nonetheless), the Crabby Young Pharts, and the Screamin' Seamen Racing Team. Steve Schrader is our lovely host, Ricky the Four Inch Wonder® is behind the bar, Thursday Night Shane is in the kitchen, and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! While the grape is in my glass this evening, we have gathered to celebrate the grain! It's time for-

Beers of the World Crab Racing

PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) 28
2) Jefferson City
3) Georgia
4) Judy Garland
5) Theodore

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Jera

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #62 Whorehopper- Eric

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #84 Swallow- Michigan Sixty-Niners (M69)
3) Winner- #87 Crabs Sold Out. Syphilis Half Price- Team Hinkey (TH)
4) Winner- #6 John Doe- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)
5) Winner- #5 She Said Fuq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- Screamin' Seamen (SS)
6) Winner- #35 Abe Froman, Sausage King Of Chicago- COF

7) Winner- #01 I Can't Get No Satisfaction- Rochelle
8) Winner- #11 Thank Your Mom For Not Swallowing Me- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #64 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- TH

Halftime Entries:
Nope. Natural Sellout

10) Winner- #27 Fuq Sobriety- Chris
11) Winner- 26 Don't Trust A Ho, CUZ THE HO DON'T TRUST YOU!!!-SRL

The Wave

12) Winner- Super Crab, The House Crab. More About Him Later
13) Winner- #54 Lonely Boner M69
14) Winner- #40 Aerosmith- TH
15) Winner- #41 Sorry About Your Face. And Hair- TH
16) Winner- #75 These Crabs Look Familiar. Do You Know Matt Hughes?- TH

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #64 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- Team Hinkey
2) Winner- #35 Abe Froman, Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts
3) Winner- #87 Crabs Sold Out. Syphilis Half Price- Team Hinkey
4) Winner- #6 John Doe- Crabby Old Pharts

Outstanding Individuals:
Your Lovely Host- Steve Schrader
Behind The Bar- Ricky Four Inch
In The Kitchen- Thursday Night Shane
On The Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Rhonda

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #35 Abe Froman, Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #87 Crabs Sold Out. Syphilis Half Price- Team Hinkey
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (the next best thing to free)- #64 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- Team Hinkey
First Place- $80 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (ditto)- #6 John Doe- Crabby Old Pharts

Time:
On it beeotch

Team Hinkey grabs Second and Third and they get bookended by the Crabby Ones, truly a great night of racing. The Sapphires have an off night and that once seemingly insurmountable lead seems a little more surmountable, if you will. Only five more races to go. This is getting good.

The next race in our little chase for the title comes on Wednesday October 28th at 8:00 PM. That date is also the beginning of this year's World Series, so I'll bet a donut to a dollar that we'll be racing on the classic Baseball Crab Racing Surface. Until then, he's Sonny Starr, good night everybody!

Ciao for nao
j

Hello Cincinnati!!!

Matt's Aunt and Grandmother came to Crab Races to help bolster Team Hinkey during the stretch run toward the League Championship. The quite profane "rodeo Song" playing during the video is no reflection on them as they were wonderful peoples. They promised to bring me Hot Metts when they return!

Hope you enjoyed us as much as we enjoyed you!

Superhero Crab Racing- Three Kings 10/9

Hoy Hoy-
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! Rainy night tonight. It seems like we had four weeks of San Diego in September followed by two weeks of Seattle in October. It's been a long time since I made the trip to Hoagland in the rain.

Beautiful crowd at the Three Kings tonight. A decidedly female majority for the last show of our second year in Crabsville. The crowd is decent sized, although not a Natural Sellout. Young Dave is behind the Bar and Jill-Bob is on the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's-

Superhero Crab Racing-

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia:
1) Franklin Delano Roosevelt
2) Andromeda
3) Gerald Ford
4) The Godfather (Part I & II)
5) Spartacus

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Jessica

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #71 Jeffy Baby- Lori

Starting Lineup



2) Winner- #46 Tight Little Ass- Jessica
3) Winner- #35 Bertha- Danielle
4) Winner- SC Super Crab- Jose
5) Winner- #41 Jobanamasa- Rick
6) Winner- #6 Lucky Strike- Bill
7) Winner- #85 Cleveland Steamer- Joe
8) Winner- #01 Sticky- Vince

Halftime:
Some of this. This as well

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #62 Stopp- Denny

Halftime Entries:
Nope.

10) Winner- #55 Patrick- Becky
11) Winner- #4 One-Eyed Pirate- Dan

The Wave

12) Winner- #30 Giselle- Linda
13) Winner- #17 Itchy- Jill-Bob
14) Winner- #76 Speedy Gonzales- Sally
15) Winner- #50 Krusty- Juli
16) Winner- #48 Sparky- Kenton

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #41 Jobanamasa- Rick
2) Winner- #6 Lucky Strike- Bill
3) Winner- #35 Bertha- Danielle
4) Winner- #30 Giselle- Linda

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #41 Jobanamasa- Rick
Third Place- A High Quality Crab Racing Tee-Shirt- #30 Giselle- Linda
Second Place- $15 in Three Kings' Krab Kash (The Next Best Thing To Free) - #35 Bertha- Danielle
First Place- $25 in Three Kings' Krab Kash (Likewise) - #6 Lucky Strike- Bill

Time:
Plus Four

Your usual Hoagville crowd. Loud and enthusiastic. One of these days we'll get some people that know the shtick. Nevertheless, it's always a great time up here and well worth the drive. Maybe we can get some vets from Mayberry up here to show them how it works.

Top Five Crabs take four of the first six races and end up bracketing the Final Four. The Super One takes the evening off, but he'll keep a commanding lead in the Rankings. #6 gets the win and takes over Second Place in the Top Five over #71.

We'll return to beautiful Hoagburg on Friday November 6th for our second anniversary show. Until then, he's Sonny Starr.

Ciao for nao
j

More music

This is website devoted to Crab Racing. That being said, you might have noticed that there's a lot of music on it as well. What can I say, I love music. Here's some more-

toht- bobcesca.com

Superhero Crab Racing- Folkie's 9/30

Chimichang Cheesy Burrito-
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! I'm still stunned from the incredible performance by Polkaboy on Friday at Oktoberfest. That, and the Leinenkugel, combined for a perfect way to pass a rainy evening. If you missed it, here's a piece of very bad video to give you a taste of what it was-



Everything these guys played was incredible (including Edelweiss from The Sound of Music. Go figure). If they're nearby, take the time to see them. You won't be sorry.

Back to the matter at hand. An incredible crowd this evening at the Crabitorium. People lined up shortly after 7:00 to get their best shot at a winning Crab. Several new Teams in the house tonite. Team Susan and Team Dunham are joined by the Michigan Sixty-Niners (guess where they're from) to make their maiden attempt at Crab racing. Lots of Regulars in the House as well most of the League leading Teams are here to scramble for Points in their pursuit of a Championship. The First Place Sapphire Racing League has a large Krewe as do The Crustacean Sensations, Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing, Team Hinkey (three's big for them), and The Screamin' Seamen. Rochelle and a few more Indies make it a Natural Sellout. The lovely Steve Schrader is our Host this evening and the equally lovely Ricky Four Inch is behind the Bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! I'm afraid my tights keep riding up, but we'll plow ahead anyway, because it's time for-

Superhero Crab Racing

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Armour Potted Meat Trivia:
1) Franklin Delano Roosevelt
2) Andromeda
3) Gerald Ford
4) Mount McKinley (if McKinley says it's okay)
5) Lee Harvey Oswald

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Tom

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #48 Aflac- Michigan 69ers (M69)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
3) Winner- #71 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
4) Winner- #90 Sparky- Rochelle
5) Winner- #35 Hot Carl- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
6) Winner- #84 Don't Trust A Ho, Cuz The Ho Don't Trust U- SRL
7) Winner- #6 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey (TH)
8) Winner- #75 Caligula- SRL

Halftime:
Some of this. This as well

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #44 Standing Hampton- M69

Halftime Entries:
Not tonite Chief.

10) Winner- #35 Doctor Claw- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
11) Winner- #4 Old Strippers Never Die, They Just Get The Crabs- Screamin' Seamen (SS)

The Wave

12) Winner- #65 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- TH
13) Winner- #24 Go Pee- Team Susan (TS)
14) Winner- #0 May I C U P- TS
15) Winner- #38 Sparta- TH
16) Winner- #30 She Said Fuq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- SS

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #44 Standing Hampton- Michigan 69ers
2) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
3) Winner- #71 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
4) Winner- #90 Sparky- Rochelle

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #90 Sparky- Rochelle
Third Place- A High Quality Tee-Shirt- #44 Standing Hampton- Michigan 69ers
Second Place- $20 in Folkie's Krab Kash (The Next Best Thing To Free) - #71 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
First Place- $50 in Folkie's Krab Kash (Likewise) - Super Folkie, The House Crab


Time:
I think it was Plus Eight

Well, that was exciting, wasn't it. The crowd did a fine job with an a cappella Finals as we runned into some technical difficulties with our high dollar sound system. Rochelle gets Fourth as tonite's only Indie winner. The M69 Krewe grabs Third and The Sapphire Racing League adds some points to their lead with a Second Place finish. Super Folkie takes the $50 First Place money for himself.

But, he will bring it back on the 14th, when First Place will be worth $80 in Folkie's Krab Kash. I know I'll be there! Until then, he's Sonny Starr.

Ciao for nao
j