Marion Classic (Pt. 2)

Steve Schrader on cowbell

Last lap of the Mens 2/3 Pro race

Marion Classic 2009

The Mens Pro Class 1 swing by Folkie's

Sittin' low in Turn 2

The Women's Pro Class 1 shred the Second Turn

Had a great time Saturday hanging out at Folkie's watching the Marion Classic bike race. Most of the best cyclists in the United States were on hand and they put on an incredible show. If you missed it, well, that's your misfortune. Put it on your "must do" list for next year and don't forget to bring your cowbells!

djjj

Crab Racing USA- Folkie's 8/19

Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. It's Friday night and the new Tarantino opens tonite, the Marion Classic runs tomorrow, and then Sunday I'm headed for the lakes for a couple of days of rest and relaxation, as well as some half price pizza at the Barbee Hotel. See you soon.

Tonite is the 16th anniversary of "The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie's" and those black clouds out the front window tease at a repeat. But we're Professionals dammit, so we soldier on. Medium small crowd tonite, but the quality is outstanding. The Crabby Young Pharts join us once again. They're accompanied on Race Row by the lovely Deloused Racing Team, several Crustacean Sensations, and a couple of Indies by the name of Brian and Kim. The Fockers take the jukebox table as the Hinkeys (congrats) and a pair of Sapphire Racers take the high ground of the Skyboxes. The Screamin' Seamen maintain their normal spot close to the door. Steve Schrader is once again our lovely host. Ricky the Four Inch Wonder is behind the Bar. In the Kitchen we have thursday night Shane. And Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! We've got fifty states on the board and it ain't November, so that can mean only one other thing, it's-


Crab Racing USA-

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Arizona
2) Philip
3) Dish
4) Ayatollah Khomeini
5) Tongue

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Stacy

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #58 If This Crab Wins, Brett Favre will Pull Out 4 The Season- Crustacean Sensations (CS)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #62 Don't Trust A Ho, Cuz The Ho Don't Trust You- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
3) Winner- #5 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- SRL
4) Winner- #91 Kosuke Fukudome- Folkie's Fockers (FF)
5) Winner- #84 Bone Saw- CS
6) Winner- #65 Strippers Don't Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- Screamin' Seamen (SS)
7) Winner- #46 Blow Pop- Deloused Racing Team (DRT)
8) Winner- #71 Bill Brasky- CS

Halftime:
Some of this

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #59 She Said Fuq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- SS

Halftime Entries:
Not Tonite Darlin'

10) Winner- #54 I Like It Ruff- Kim
11) Winner- #6 Itchy DRT

The Wave

12) Winner- #42 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey (TH)
13) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
14) Winner- #51 I'm Going To Have To Num That. Num Num Num Num Num- The American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists (AAAG)
15) Winner- #48 Tiny Fuqed A Stump
16) Winner- #30 I'm A Hard Habit To Break- FF

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #58 If This Crab Wins, Brett Favre will Pull Out 4 The Season- Crustacean Sensations
2) Winner- #65 Strippers Don't Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- Screamin' Seamen
3) Winner- #5 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
4) Winner- #42 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- A Hearty Wave And A Well Done- #42 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt - #65 Strippers Don't Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- Screamin' Seamen
Second Place- $20 in Folkie's Bucks (the next best thing to free)- #58 If This Crab Wins, Brett Favre will Pull Out 4 The Season- Crustacean Sensations
First Place- $30 in Folkie's Bucks (ditto)- #5 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League


Time:
Plus Eight

Four of the top five teams in the league make the Finals, with the Hinkeys pulling in to a tie with the Seamen for Third. The Sensations are in Fifth, but move a little closer with a Second Place finish. The Pharts miss the Finals, but hold on to Second in the rankings and Sapphire Racing League sneaks in and takes first to extend their lead over the rest of the League.

A big shuffle in the Crab Rankings as Super Crab drops out of the top spot for the first time in a long time. Even the Third and Fourth ranked Crabs have the potential to win, so it should be exciting when the Crabs return on the Wednesday before Labor Day with Football Crab Racing. Make sure you get there early so you don't miss first choice of the top Crabs. Until then, he's Sonny Starr.

ciao for nao
djjj

Meet The New Boss. Same As The Old Boss?

Beers Of The World Crab Racing- Three Kings 8-7

Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito,
I've got a bottle of cheap Merlot, a foggy memory, and whole batch of seventh-grade writing skills and I'll try to recall what went on on the night of the seventh in Hoagland.

Nice weather tonight in Crabsville USA. The locals must have been drawn to some of the other entertainment options available to them, as the majority of our crowd consists of the Jeep Jam Racing Team who made the trip down from The Fort to be with us. Michelle wanders in a little late and makes the best of it as you'll see later. Young Dave is our lovely host and doing a yeoman's job holding down the bar. And as always, Jill-Bob's on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! A small crowd never slows the fun at the Three Kings, especially when its-


Beers Of The World Crab Racing

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Natalie Wood
2) Pullman
3) Abraham Lincoln
4) The Bunkers
5) Yankee

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Renee

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #84 Brunch- Leah

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #58 Crabby- Kim
3) Winner- Super Crab- Bill
4) Winner- #46 Super Crab's Nemesis- Bill
5) Winner- #6 Sexy Legs- Renee
6) Winner- #41b Well Hung- Michelle
7) Winner- #5 Gran Cherokee- Jim
8) Winner- #50 Happy- Michelle

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #87 For Erections Lasting More Than Four Hours, Call More Nurses- The American Association Of Gynecologists (AAAG)

Halftime Entries:
A few

10) Winner- #41g Elmo- Sharon
11) Winner- #8 I'm Going To Have To Num That, Num Num Num Num Num- AAAG

The Wave

12) Winner- #4 Spanky- Jamie
13) Winner- #25 Crazy Eyes- Carl
14) Winner- #42 Supper- Clint
15) Winner- #30 Travis Clay- Clint
16) Winner- #62 Bob- Jill-Bob

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #84 Brunch- Leah
2) Winner- #58 Crabby- Kim
3) Winner- #41b Well Hung- Michelle
4) Winner- #46 Super Crab's Nemesis- Bill

Outstanding Individuals:
On the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Jill-Bob
Your Host as well as holding down the Bar- Dave

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #58 Crabby- Kim
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #84 Brunch- Leah
Second Place- $10 in Three Kings Kash (The next best thing to free)- #46 Super Crab's Nemesis- Bill
First Place- $15 in Three Kings Kash (Ditto)- #41b Well Hung- Michelle

Time:
Minus Three

You know it's a weird night when The Good Doctors from Triple A G put two in the Semis. Michelle comes in late and may have found Crab Racing's best kept secret, left in the Aquarium, we'll have to see.

We'll be back to the Three Kings on Friday September 11th when I believe we'll haul out the Football Table. Where does the summer go? I've got a feeling most of the Regulars will be back from summer break and we'll rock Crabsville one more time. Until then, he's Sonny Star!

ciao for nao
djjj

Beers Of The World Crab Racing- Folkie's 8/5

Good to see Kenny Mac in town for the evening. Kenny raced during the Golden Age and was considered the "Jackie Robinson" of Crab Racing

Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! A couple of weeks late on this one, but I'll try to recollect the evening's events as best as my age and my feeble mind will allow.

Huge crowd tonite in The Friendly Confines. They start lining up shortly after seven o'clock, trying to get the best Crab and a shot at that $90 First Prize. A great surprise this evening as we're joined by some friends from The Golden Age Of Crab Racing. First of all, we have Scott and Sherri, two members of the original Chainsaw Sisters Racing Team. Scott and Sherri are the source of the long lost video that became the feature length motion picture "The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie's" and in fact can be seen along Race Row in the movie. Secondly, and even more surprisingly, we have the Legendary Kenny McCain, all the way from San Diego. Kenny raced alongside the Chainsaw Sisters and is considered the Jackie Robinson of Crab Racing.

Along with a rare summer appearance of The Good Sisters, we have The Crustacean Sensations, Team Aftermath, the always adorable Team Hinkey (Tallywhacker Toucher's pretty darn cute too), as well as The Deloused Racing Team finally official and off of The Probation. Steve Schrader is once again your lovely host. The Amazing Ricky Four Inch is behind the Bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen and Rhonda's on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! Ninety dollars on the line means the winner buys, because it's-

Beers of the World Crab Racing

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) The Bunkers
2) Nipper
3) Natalie Wood
4) Abraham Lincoln
5) Yankee

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Kylie

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #41b Scuba Steve- Team Aftermath (TA)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #84 Scratchy- Deloused Racing Team (DRT)
3) Winner- #6 Itchy- DRT
4) Winner- #58 Donkey Puncher- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
5) Winner- #4 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey (TH)
6) Winner- #46 Tootsie Pop- DRT
7) Winner- #38 Jack- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing (TBS)
8) Winner- #5 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- TH

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #50 Fuqtard- TA

Halftime Entries:
Nope. Sellout

10) Winner- #42 Buq Naked- CS
11) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab

The Wave

12) Winner- #19 Pauly Shore Is Alive And Rockin'- CS
13) Winner- #25 Les U More Me- TBS
14) Winner- #41g Johnny Marijuana Seed- CS
15) Winner- #35 Benadryl- DRT
16) Winner- #95 Kosuke Fukudome Play Your Right Field Right- Folkie's Fockers (FF)

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #25 Les U More Me- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
2) Winner- #84 Scratchy- Deloused Racing Team
3) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
4) Winner- #5 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- Team Hinkey

Outstanding Individuals:
Your Lovely Host- Steve Schrader
Behind The Bar- Ricky Four Inch
In The Kitchen- Thursday Night Shane
On The Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Rhonda

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #5 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- Team Hinkey
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #25 Les U More Me- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Bucks (the next best thing to free)- Super Folkie, The House Crab
First Place- $90 in Folkie’s Bucks (ditto)- #84 Scratchy- Deloused Racing Team

Time:
Plus Seven (where does the time go)

Stephanie and the Deloused Racing Team celebrate their awesome officialness with a big-time win (I hope they bought Leslie a beer!). The Super One takes Second and the Banjo Stringers pick up the Third Place points. Team Hinkey grabs a single Fourth Place point to move into Third Place in the League Standings.

Super Folkie will bring the Second Place money back on the 19th, making First Place worth a not-so-shabby Fifty Bucks. Pick 'em at seven-thirty, race 'em at eight, we'll see you then!

Ciao for nao
j

Last night's Finals

#84 is a monster and he came to play!

Some Dave

Whita Sita made the show the other night. Looks like it was another killer!!! Enjoy.