Brickyard/Christmas Crab Racing- Folkie's 7/24

Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito-
Playing hooky from work this week. Spending a couple of days at Casa dos Gatos, then skating up to Puerto dos Gatos for a couple after we finish the Races tonite. Nothing better than a nighttime cruise with the windows down and XM Chill on the box. I could drive all night.

A monster crowd at The Friendly Confines. Lined up at 7:15 all the way back to the table. Nothing like a rainy day to induce a little Crabbin' Fever. So nice to have The Crabby Old Pharts joining us this evening, can't recall the last time we saw them. We've got a small but lovely contingent of Hinkeys. Team Aftermath and the Screamin' Seamen are with us as well. Deloused Racing is with us for the second time and Stephanie is in much better shape than we left her last time. They'll have one more week on their Probation after tonite. The Crustacean Sensations pull a Powell Doctrine and deploy a massive force on the evening's proceedings. Steve Schrader is your lovely host, with Ricky the Four Inch Wonder behind the Bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen and Rhonda is on the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!

Friday is the 25th and that means it's Folkie's annual Christmas In July celebration. So jump in bed and cover your head, because it's-

Brickyard/ Christmas Crab Racing

Pre-Race

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) The Beatles
2) Vatican City
3) Treasure Island
4) Alan Shepherd
5) Alberto Contador

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Chrissie

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #58 Frisco- Leilani

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #4 If I Give U A Banana, Will U Fuq Me Like A Gorilla- Team Hinkey (TH)
3) Winner- #5 Hot Carl- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
4) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab. More About Him Later
5) Winner- #85 She Said Fuq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- Screamin' Seamen (SS)
6) Winner- #36 Buck Naked- CS
7) Winner- #11 Steve Perry- CS
8) Winner- #26 Scratchy- Deloused Racing (DR)

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #59 Bone Saw- CS

Halftime Entries:
Natural Sellout

10) Winner- #41 It's Not My Birthday But I've Still Got Crabs- DR (Lotteried out for #10 He Cheated On Me So Now He Has Crabs- CS)
11) Winner- #87 Digger- Team Aftermath (TA)

The Wave

12) Winner- #48 Scuba Steve- TA
13) Winner- #8 Speedy- DR
14) Winner- #6 Itchy- DR
15) Winner- #74 Sparky- Ryan
16) Winner- #22 Oliver Twist. Because I Love Good Dickens- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #59 Bone Saw- Crustacean Sensations
2) Winner- #36 Buck Naked- Crustacean Sensations
3) Winner- #5 Hot Carl- Crustacean Sensations
4) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab

Outstanding Individuals:
Behind the Bar- Ricky Four Inch
In the Kitchen- Thursday Night Shane
On the floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Rhonda
Your Host- Steve Schrader

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- A Hearty Wave And A Well Done - #59 Bone Saw- Crustacean Sensations
Third Place- A High Quality Tee-Shirt- #36 Buck Naked- Crustacean Sensations
Second Place- $20 worth of Folkie’s Bucks (the next best thing to free)- #5 Hot Carl- Crustacean Sensations
First Place- $30 worth of Folkie’s Bucks (ditto)- Super Folkie, The House Crab

Time:
Plus Three

So there it is. Christmas and Brickyard all in one shot. The Crustacean Sensations dominate the evening, putting three Crabs into the Finals. Unfortunately, the fourth Crab was the Super One and despite finishing Second in Hoagsville, he looks pretty unstoppable in Mayberry. Not only does he keep the $30 from the last race, he nabs another $30 tonite, so when we return on the 5th of August, we'll be Racing for a cool $90.

Like I said, we'll be back in Marion on August the 5th and we'll be Racing for $90, I believe that'll cover a round for the table. Until then, he's Sonny Starr!

Ciao for nao
j

Superhero Crab Racing- Three Kings 7-10

Hoy Hoy-
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! Actually, greetings from Puerto dos Gatos as were flying in from Dorothafest, our annual midsummer family gathering at the lake place. In the car tonite are my teammate from the Chainsaw Sisters, Whita Sita, as well as my cousin, Mt. Pleasant Michigan's foremost herbologist, Dave.

A light summer crowd to start with at the Three Kings this evening. We're once again suffering from SSDS (Serious Sara Deficiency Syndrome), but hopefully it's temporary and August will bring a full recovery. Dave's our lovely host once again, doing a stellar job behind the Bar, and Jill Bob is in complete control, on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! The crowd starts small, but proves quite worthy, building thru the evening, sometimes you just have to listen to what Bonnie says, and just hold on. Because it's time for-

Superhero Crab Racing-

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Rock and Roll
2) Mediterranean
3) Bill Russell
4) St Valentine
5) Caribou

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder-

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #64 Herbal Assault- Chainsaw Sisters Racing

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #6 Fred- April
3) Winner- #4 Mike- Scott
4) Winner- #50 Fitty- Jill Bob
5) Winner- #46 Lady Bug- Sarah
6) Winner- SC Mr. Super Crab- Megan
7) Winner- #38 Colonel Klink- Hogan
8) Winner- #22 Supercalifragilisticexpyalidouchefuq- Jake

Halftime:
Some of this. This as well

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #88 Spanky- Bill

Halftime Entries:
Four times

10) Winner- #59 Fast Bastard- Tom
11) Winner- 74 Roy- David

The Wave

12) Winner- #8 I'm Itchin' In My Crotch And I Don't Know Why- Miguel
13) Winner- #42 Snatch- Gillaina
14) Winner- #41 Daniker- Jeremy
15) Winner- #5 What Happens In The Aquarium, STAYS IN THE AQUARIUM!!!- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)
16) Winner- #25 Smitty- Tom

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #88 Spanky- Bill
2) Winner- SC Mr. Super Crab- Megan
3) Winner- #4 Mike- Scott
4) Winner- #22 Supercalifragilisticexpyalidouchefuq- Jake

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #4 Mike- Scott
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #22 Supercalifragilisticexpyalidouchefuq- Jake
Second Place- $15- # SC Mr. Super Crab- Megan
First Place- $25- #88 Spanky- Bill

Time:
Plus Two

Herbal Assault storms out in the first race, only to go cold in the bucket, falling to the night's eventual Champ. Four of the top five Crabs make the Semis, with Number Four and Number One getting thru to the Finals. Number Four proves the stronger this evening, beating out the Super One to take the First Place Money.

The Amazing Racin' Crustaceans will return to Crabsville on Friday August the 7th, with a belated Brickyard Crab Racing. Got our fingers crossed for the return of the Saras With No H. See you then.

Ciao for nao
j

Superhero Crab Racing- Folkie's 7/8

Hoy Hoy-
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! Man the summer is just flying by! A very nice weekend at the lakes, sorry we missed you. The amateurs must have spent thousands on fireworks this year. Definitely some professional stuff going off around the lake, the show must have gone on for a couple of hours.

Medium size crowd this week, but high quality nonetheless. SRL makes it back after a week off. Team Hinkey is hanging back by the window (the always adorable Tallywhacker Toucher wanders in late). The Screamin' Seamen are in their usual spot in the field level boxes. Rochelle sets up with a small group on the far side of the Table. The Crustacean Sensations join them and our Flag Holder Stephanie celebrates her birthday with Stacey and Sarah, rounding out Race Row. Some Fockers in the Skyboxes and a couple more Racers here and there make a fair crowd. Steve Schrader is our lovely host this evening. Four Inch Ricky is behind the Bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen and Rhonda's on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! I've got my cape and I've got my tights, so I guess I'm ready for some-

Superhero Crab Racing-

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Mediterranean
2) Bill Russell
3) St. Valentine
4) Caribou
5) Rock & Roll

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Stephanie

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #4 Deepin Cider- Ryan

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #8 Sorry About Your Face (And Hair)- Team Hinkey (TH)
3) Winner- #5 Hot Carl- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
4) Winner- #90 Scratchy- Stacy
5) Winner- #41 Vagina Lovesalot- Rochelle
6) Winner- #38 Hey These Crabs Look Familiar. Do You Know Matt Hughes?- TH
7) Winner- #95 I'm Going To Have To Numb That. Numb Numb Numb Numb Numb- The American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists (AAAG)
8) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab (more about him later)

Halftime:
Some of this. This as well

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #6 Itchy- Sarah

Halftime Entries:
Seven of them

10) Winner- #50 Steve McNair's Ghost- CS
11) Winner- #64 It's My Birthday And I Got Crabs- Stephanie

The Wave

12) Winner- #74 Fromunda Cheese- Folkie's Softball team (FST)
13) Winner- #46 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Screamin' Seamen (SS)
14) Winner- #85Black Pat- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
15) Winner- #42 Bone Saw- CS
16) Winner- #22 Buck Naked- CS

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #6 Itchy- Sarah
2) Winner- #64 It's My Birthday And I Got Crabs- Stephanie
3) Winner- #5 Hot Carl- Crustacean Sensations
4) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab

Outstanding Individuals:
Your Host- Steve Schrader
Behind the Bar- Ricky Four Inch
In the Kitchen- Thursday Night Shane
On the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Rhonda

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #64 It's My Birthday And I Got Crabs- Stephanie
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #5 Hot Carl- Crustacean Sensations
Second Place- $20- #6 Itchy- Sarah
First Place- $30- Super Folkie, The House Crab

Time:
Plus Five

A very inspired night of Racing indeed! #50 makes it 10 races in a row into the Semis. Steph and Sarah land a couple in the Finals and the Crustacean Sensations pick up a couple of points in the team standings. Super Folkie was set to slip out of the #1 ranking, until Sonny parked a new Crab in the shell this evening and lo and behold, we have a winner. This Crab apparently works well out of the fourth bucket just like his predecessor.

Super Crab will return to Folkie's with his winnings on July 22nd when First Place will be worth $60. We'll see you then!

Ciao for nao
j

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!!!

The fun begins this weekend in Monte Carlo!!!

World Rankings

The new rankings are up. Super Crab remains #1, despite not getting to the Finals for the past three races. I have a feeling he'll start moving down the list over the next couple of weeks. #46 is in Second on the strength of back-to-back wins, but failed to take a heat on the 24th. A three way tie for Third between #17 (he may have passed on, it's hard to make the Semis when you're dead), #29 (an every other week Crab), and #88 (our winner on the 24th at Folk's).

Crabs that aren't Ranked but might win you a prize are #59, who took Second on the 24th, and #50, who has made the Semifinals for the past 10 consecutive Folkie's/Three Kings races. Unfortunately, he's only gotten to the Finals once in those 10 races, finishing 3rd at the last set at Folkie's.


All in all, it's pretty wide open right now with the lowest First Place point total in quite a while. It will be interesting to see if we have a Crab start to assert itself. I know I can't wait.

ciao for nao
djjj